WHAT THE TRUCK?

WACKY widow Celine Dion wailed, “I drove all night,” in her No. 1 hit song — and now, she’s quitting her Vegas gig to drive a big rig all over the country!

“Celine’s ready to shake up her life in a big way, not only by leaving Las Vegas, but living the vagabond life of a trucker,” a friend dishes.

After ending her 16-year residency at Caesars Palace in June, Celine says she’ll hit the road for a more than 50-city North American tour in September — and she plans to be behind the wheel of a semi carrying her show gear.

FRAIL REGIS, 87, HAS JUST WEEKS TO LIVE!

TALK show king Regis Philbin is on his last legs with just weeks to live, and there’s no hope for the 87-year-old icon, stunned sources say.

Following a series of operations, the beloved TV legend has heart problems, say insiders who tell GLOBE Regis has become so feeble, he’s vanished from the public eye and is bravely awaiting the end in the Connecticut home he shares with wife Joy, 78, mom of his grown daughters J.J. and Joanna.

Regis is so weak, he couldn’t attend former Live! sidekick Kathie Lee Gifford’s Today show retirement bash on April 5.

Britney's Psych Ward Hell!

DISTRAUGHT over her dad’s fading health, bipolar pop princess Britney Spears is fighting for her sanity in a psych ward where she’s heavily medicated and could face brain-frying electroshock treatments, sources tell GLOBE.

The 37-year-old Toxic songbird’s family checked her into a mental health clinic for a 30-day stint after she bizarrely started calling herself “Britney Jean,” dishes a snitch. The former Disney kid took a dramatic turn for the worse after her February Las Vegas residency, Britney: Domination, at the Park MGM resort was canceled.